Teachers

Following the untimely deaths of Matt, Brian and Kurt, it’s left to Penny and Lindsay to make friends with the staff of Wattkins School. This proves tricky. Charming Head of English Ewan is easy to get along with (unless you happen to be Bob), but sarcastic cookery teacher Damien and neurotic R.E. tutor (and confirmed atheist) Ben take a bit more getting used to.

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  E1Episode One

  Oct 26, 2004· 48m

  Summerdown has merged with another school and it’s all change for the teachers. Bob is struggling to adjust: he’s been demoted, and his new boss seems to be a hit with the women.

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  E2Episode Two

  Nov 2, 2004· 48m

  Penny makes a pass at Ewan, but it all ends in humiliation. Meanwhile, Ben is ordered to babysit some pensioners who are visiting the school which forces him to confront his own prejudices.

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  E3Episode Three

  Nov 9, 2004· 48m

  Ewan is thrown into turmoil when he finds out that a pupil, John, fancies him. All his attempts to handle the situation sensitively backfire horribly.

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  E4Episode Four

  Nov 16, 2004· 48m

  It is Obesity Awareness Month and Ben becomes obsessed with Lindsay’s weight. It’s purely selfish, of course; he’s worried her death would be bad for his own stress levels.

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  E5Episode Five

  Nov 23, 2004· 48m

  It’s Religious Tolerance Week and the teachers prepare to represent their allocated religions at the Tolerance Fair. Meanwhile, Bob finally takes delivery of his new wife.

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  E6Episode Six

  Nov 30, 2004· 48m

  After discovering Penny’s real surname is Eichmann, the others take pleasure in winding her up. She’s blonde, she hates foreign food, she has no black friends—could she be a racist?

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  E7Episode Seven

  Dec 7, 2004· 48m

  No sooner has Damien announced that he doesn’t need a girlfriend, than he falls for the substitute teacher Anna. But an unfortunate incident with a pupil and an icing bag has rendered him impotent.

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  E8Episode Eight

  Dec 14, 2004· 48m

  While trying to get out of Bob’s stag do, Ben is reminded of a ouija board prediction: he’s going to die on Friday. Then he sees a miracle. So God must exist, and there’s an afterlife to contend with.

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  E9Teachers Christmas SpecialFinale

  Dec 21, 2004· 48m

  The school is trashed after the Christmas party, the teachers are hungover, Bob is getting married in the playground—and the Ofsted Inspector is due. Happy Christmas, everyone!

With Simon gone, Brian and Kurt turn to his replacement for advice—the suave and morally-flexible Matt. But married Matt is much more interested in his own affairs, and it falls upon new biology teacher Lindsay to help them out. Lindsay’s funny, frank, down-to-earth and, most importantly, she’s fat—an essential safety feature for an agony aunt that ensures Brian and Kurt won’t end up fancying her. Probably.

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  E1Episode One

  Aug 6, 2003· 48m

  A new term and a new teacher, in the (rather large) shape of Lindsay. She can outdrink the boys, and Brian in particular thinks she’s brilliant, until Kurt convinces him that she fancies him.

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  E2Episode Two

  Aug 13, 2003· 48m

  Penny’s self-obsession and self-pity have reached such dizzying new heights that she’s driving everyone insane. Bored to tears with her moaning, Lindsay finally cracks.

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  E3Episode Three

  Aug 20, 2003· 48m

  Kurt thinks his luck with the ladies is changing. At parents’ evening he meets a woman he reckons he has a good chance of pulling. As usual, however, his judgement in these matters isn’t perfect.

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  E4Episode Four

  Aug 27, 2003· 48m

  Bobs wife throws him out of the house and moves her boyfriend in. For the first time, Liz takes pity on this dishevelled wreck. But a combination of pity and alcohol can have surprising results.

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  E5Episode Five

  Sep 3, 2003· 48m

  Lindsay is about to turn 30, which is fine, until everyone points out that 30 is very old. What’s the best way to handle being 30? Grow old with grace and start acting your age, or the exact opposite?

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  E6Episode Six

  Sep 10, 2003· 48m

  Half the staff are off with stress, leaving the other half even more stressed. In a desperate bid to relieve the pressure, Clare assigns them all a stress partner, which proves very stressful.

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  E7Episode Seven

  Sep 17, 2003· 48m

  There’s something disturbing in the air. A stranger, with a sinister beard, is lurking by the perimeter fence. But it turns out that he’s not so strange after all.

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  E8Episode Eight

  Sep 24, 2003· 48m

  The English department are left without a head when Bob is taken in for emergency surgery, and Clare decides that, whether he likes it or not, Matt is the ideal choice to act as Bobs replacement.

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  E9Episode Nine

  Oct 1, 2003· 48m

  The teachers are depressed that none of them is in a functional relationship, until Liz points out that Brian and Kurt are as good as married. But Brian thinks that Kurt is taking advantage of him.

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  E10Episode Ten

  Oct 8, 2003· 48m

  Students and parents have been complaining about Lindsay, and she’s ended up with a formal warning. So she’s going to transform herself into ‘super-teacher’, with help from an unlikely guru: Bob.

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  E11Episode Eleven

  Oct 15, 2003· 48m

  Brians obsessed with Eileen—the only good-looking dinner lady in the world—and when Bob starts complaining loudly about the canteen food, Brian has to stand up for his dream woman.

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  E12Episode Twelve

  Oct 22, 2003· 48m

  When Brian and Kurt race each other to school, Kurt’s desire to win results in injury. Brian’s attempts to administer first aid only serve to make things worse and Kurt ends up in a wheelchair.

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  E13Episode ThirteenFinale

  Oct 29, 2003· 48m

  Love, lust, and general weirdness are in the air. Penny’s started a new romance, Clare’s getting frisky, and in a drunken moment Matt and Lindsay find themselves snogging.

A new school year means new challenges for the teachers. Simon feels threatened by charming newcomer J.P., and Kurt finds dodging Carol’s affections is turning into a full-time occupation. Meanwhile, Brian is enchanted by English trainee tutor Penny—for two very obvious reasons—and Bob sdecides to get fit. Even if it kills him ….

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  E1Episode One

  Mar 13, 2002· 48m

  It’s a new term. Simon mistakes new languages tutor J.P. for a sixth former, and buxom newcomer Penny receives a lot of attention from the men. Recently divorced Susan turns on the charms with J.P.

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  E2Episode Two

  Mar 20, 2002· 48m

  Carol continues to pursue Kurt, even though he insists their relationship is over and tries to convince her that Penny is his new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Bob tells Simon he hasn’t had sex for 23 years.

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  E3Episode Three

  Mar 27, 2002· 48m

  Jenny’s house-shaking romping with her new boyfriend Alec is driving Susan crazy, so she agrees to get a flat with Simon. And then Brian and Kurt convince Simon that he fancies her.

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  E4Episode Four

  Apr 3, 2002· 48m

  When J.P. comes out to the rest of the teachers, Simon, Kurt and Susan begin a campaign of wind-ups against Brian. But with J.P.’s help, Brian finds a way to get his own back.

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  E5Episode Five

  Apr 10, 2003· 48m

  Susan drags the others over to the house to prove how annoying Jenny’s boyfriend is. Brian and Kurt are confused when J.P. spends the night with a girl.

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  E6Episode Six

  Apr 17, 2002· 48m

  A delusional Bob manages to convince himself that Penny fancies him. This spurs him into undergoing a ridiculous fitness regime, which soon results in total collapse. Is this the end of Bob?

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  E7Episode Seven

  Apr 24, 2002· 48m

  When a former student brings her baby into school to illustrate the hardships of motherhood, Susan ends up desperate for a child of her own. She doesn’t need a father, just good genetic material.

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  E8Episode Eight

  May 1, 2002· 48m

  Jenny decides it’s time to finish with Alec; she just needs to work out how. Meanwhile, Simon shocks everyone by announcing he’s going to quit his job and fly to South America—on Saturday.

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  E9Episode Nine

  May 8, 2002· 48m

  Having split up with Alec, Jenny’s going through a hedonistic phase—much to Brian and Kurt’s delight as she keeps buying all the drinks.

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  E10Episode TenFinale

  May 15, 2002· 48m

  Penny takes a shine to Simon’s replacement Matt because he’s the only person who talks to her. And Kurt wonders if he made a mistake splitting up with Carol.

English teacher Simon Casey struggles through his first term at Summerdown School wondering if he really wants the job and, more importantly, if he’ll ever get to see Jenny’s bottom. Prospects on either front don’t look good. Still, sage advice from psychology tutor and best friend Susan and not-so-sage advice from fellow teachers Brian and Kurt might help. Or not ….

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