Dear Julian

Julian's led a fucked-up life, but he's a survivor and knows a thing or two about love, money, and relationships. If you use his advice, that's fine. But if you don't, he really doesn't give a fuck.

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  E1Don’t Be Bettin’ on Fuckin’ Hobo Fights

  Jan 24, 2017· 10m

  Julian asked Ricky and Bubbles to help him out for the first episode of the new season of Dear Julian! Hear advice on the morality of hobo fights, how to pass a piss test, and why you shouldn’t fuck with Tie Domi, under any circumstances!

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  E2Does Bubbles Prefer to Feed the Geese?

  Jan 31, 2017· 10m

  Bubbles and Ricky are back, getting their fingerprints all over Julian’s new table. The Boys answer questions about whether or not 2017 will suck hard, how many kilometres are on the Shitmobile, as well as an extremely intimate question about Bubbles’ love life!

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  E3How in the Fuck Do You Make Swish?

  Feb 8, 2017· 14m

  Julian and special guest Bubbles answer your questions about the origins of the Green Bastard, how to rip off Employment Insurance, Randy as a child, and the most fucked up things they’ve ever seen Ricky do.

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  E4Half-Naked Most of the Time

  Feb 14, 2017· 17m

  Bubbles is back as a special guest, and he’s really earning his pay (a bag of chips). They answer questions about shitty landlords, animals on weed, the reasons behind Julian’s love of black shirts, and much more!

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  E5Be Fuckin’ Supportive

  Apr 25, 2017· 5m

  Julian answers questions about dealing with your buddy’s new girlfriend, handling horny young piano students, and what Bubbles has in store for a new SwearNet show. It all goes pretty smoothly until Chipper fucks it all up.

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  E6Avoiding Whisky Dick

  May 30, 2017· 6m

  Julian’s answering your questions about liquor threesomes, lending money to friends, and stripper moms. He also gets a little bit fucking pissed at some dicks who insist on calling him Swayze!

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  E7It's for the Liquor

  Jun 6, 2017· 6m

  Julian offers advice on cheap liquor options, parenting, and ladies. He also answers the question we’ve all been wondering: how in the fuck does he put up with all of these fucky questions?

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  E8Fuckin’ Modern Technology

  Jun 13, 2017· 8m

  Julian passes on some Ricky advice for throwing the cops off the dope scent. He also talks about technology’s impact on his business initiatives, keeping rum from spilling while driving, and what retirement looks like to him.

Julian's led a fucked-up life, but he's a survivor and knows a thing or two about love, money, and relationships. If you use his advice, that's fine. But if you don't, he really doesn't give a fuck.

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  E1Government Dicks and Retirement Scrilla

  Aug 11, 2015· 3m

  Got a fucking problem? Tell Dear Julian! In Episode 1 he gives advice on government fines, investing for a brighter retirement, and what's more important – your buddies or your wife.

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  E2Banging and Pokey

  Aug 18, 2015· 5m

  Accidentally made your best friend's sister pregnant and don't know what the fuck to do? Tell Dear Julian...

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  E3Potatoes in a Bucket

  Sep 1, 2015· 5m

  Julian has advice for a lonely Swedish stoner, a wannabe muscleman, and a realtor trying to make it in the trailer park world!

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  E4Playing the Stripper Game

  Sep 15, 2015· 5m

  Julian gives advice on how to get banged, how not to get banged, and how to deal with someone you don't want to bang!

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  E5Avoiding the Slippery Slope of Shit

  Sep 29, 2015· 5m

  Can't get motivated to work out? Solve your problem with one very fucking weird trick! Julian also gives advice on controlling your dope habit, and why you should keep your lust in check on a first date.

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  E6Piss in the Milk

  Nov 3, 2015· 4m

  Julian gives advice on how not to lose half your shit in marriage, handling a butter fucker-upper, and how his "Drunk as Fuck" technique can boost your self-esteem!

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  E7We'll Take Care of It... For $500

  Nov 10, 2015· 6m

  Wanna know how to stay frisky, make pesky pets "disappear", and whether you should bang married dudes? Julian has the answer!

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  E8Awesome Greasy

  Nov 17, 2015· 5m

  Is stripping a good career move? How can liquor get you to third base? How do you deal with a "Jacob"? Julian knows.

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  E9Cash Will Make You Happy

  Dec 8, 2015· 7m

  Julian gives some good fuckin' advice on keeping warm in Canada, how a gamer can get his dick sucked, and why an ex-cop should get greasy!

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  E10Stop Your Fucking Whining

  Dec 15, 2015· 7m

  Julian tackles shitty kitties, asshole bosses, quitting the smokes... and some really fucking STUPID questions!

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  E11Pace Yourself, Bud

  Dec 29, 2015· 8m

  Has The Liquor become a way of life? Wanna quit drinking? Fuck that – Julian gives advice on the best ways to get shitfaced!

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  E12Go with the Hash

  Jan 12, 2016· 7m

  Julian gives advice on moving to Canada without a plan, dealing with fucked zombie-fearing neighbours, how to cope in jail, and retiring in your twenties!

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  E13How Not to Be a Fucking Loser

  Jan 26, 2016· 6m

  Julian gives advice on overcoming writer's block, starting up a greasy bootlegging business, and how to get out and have fun when you can't be fucking bothered!

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  E14When Life Gives You a Kick to the Cock

  Feb 9, 2016· 6m

  Should I sell Grandma's engagement ring to buy honey oil? How can I discipline my fucked-up son? Should I invest my scrilla in China? Julian tackles these questions, and more!

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  E15Fuck the Government

  Feb 23, 2016· 8m

  Should I grow dope in my shed? How am I gonna cope in jail? Should I confront my shady neighbours? Julian has the answers!

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  E16Bang Away

  Mar 8, 2016· 8m

  Should I bang younger dudes? How do I deal with a douche moocher of a neighbour? Should I smoke hash, weed or honey oil? Julian gives out some more awesome advice!

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  E17Dick Genes

  Mar 22, 2016· 8m

  Julian blasts through this week's pile of problems, including shitty tenants, shitty landlords, shitty neighbours, and shitty business ideas!

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  E18Toughen the Fuck Up

  Mar 29, 2016· 8m

  Julian gives advice on whether to blackmail a greasy neighbour cheating on his wife, and what to do if you don't like to party but wanna make friends!

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  E19Get the Fuck Outta Bed

  Apr 25, 2016· 7m

  To drink or not to drink? That is the fucking question! Also: I can't decide between a good job and smoking weed! I have ADD and can't get out of bed! I keep crying in the shower!

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  E20Fill Up That Gut

  May 9, 2016· 7m

  How to deal with asshole brothers-in-law, dog thieves, greasy bosses and bad hangovers, and how not to get a job at SwearNet!

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  E21Get Banged, Get Drunk, Get High

  Jul 20, 2016· 11m

  Julian is back with advice on choosing a career path, dealing with ‘the one that got away,’ how to handle fucking assholes, and the best way to become a professional wrestler.

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  E22Move to Sunnyvale

  Jul 27, 2016· 8m

  It seems a lot of problems could be solved by doing a bit less bitching and a bit more banging. Julian has advice for the recently divorced, the infertile, and the cowardly. Plus: how Americans should deal with their fucked election.

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  E23Advice from Two Hungover Dicks

  Nov 8, 2016· 16m

  Ricky joins Dear Julian as the Boys answer viewer questions and do their best to shake off a MEAN fucking hangover. Get advice on salvia, dealing with dicks, and what to do if you ever meet Lahey and Randy.

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  E24How to Not Piss Yourself

  Nov 15, 2016· 5m

  The rum is poured and Julian is answering your questions. He has advice on getting money that you are owed from your boss, what to do about shitty ex’s and shitty cousins, and most importantly - how to not piss yourself.

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  E25Finding the Proper Liquor Level

  Nov 22, 2016· 6m

  Having a hard time being a businessman because you love your day-drinking too much? Have no tolerance for bullshit? Not sure how to ask out women? This episode of Dear Julian is for you!

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  E26Banging Away a Broken Heart

  Nov 29, 2016· 6m

  Julian is drinkin’ and answerin’ again. The Dirty Dancer gives advice on hunting while drinking, dealing with a friend who turns into a dickhead with booze, and how to get over a breakup.

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  E27Merry Fucking Christmas

  Dec 13, 2016· 7m

  The holiday season stresses everyone the fuck out. Luckily, Julian has a drink and some good advice. Learn how to handle shitty malls, what to do if your family is leaving you for the holidays, and whether you should buy booze or Trailer Park Boys merchandise.

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  E28Fuck It, It's Christmas

  Dec 20, 2016· 6m

  Julian is back with part two of his Dear Julian holiday questions, and he has advice on dealing with drunken uncles, drunk ass fathers, and drunk teenagers. Plus: is it a good idea to steal Christmas trees?