Barney Miller

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  E1Paternity

  Oct 29, 1981· 30m

  Wojo's proven innocent of a paternity suit, but at a cost; a beauty queen is robbed; an irate theater patron vandalizes the theater.

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  E2Advancement

  Nov 5, 1981· 30m

  Luger wants Barney to pen a letter for his mail-order bride; a lottery winner seeks revenge when the ticket seller loses his winning entry; Harris gets a new book deal.

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  E3The Car

  Nov 12, 1981· 30m

  A car thief's conscience gets the better of him ... after twenty-five years; Levitt saves a child from a precarious fate; an overzealous sanitation officer goes to extremes.

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  E4Possession

  Nov 19, 1981· 30m

  A husband is assaulted for forcing his wife into designer jeans; a disorderly conduct report leads to a man who swears he's possessed by an evil spirit.

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  E5Stress Analyzer

  Nov 26, 1981· 30m

  A job fair brings out the worst in a Peace Corps recruiter; Dietrich volunteers for a department stress experiment.

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  E6Games

  Dec 10, 1981

  A manufacturer of computer game processors is accused of espionage; a WAC supplements her income on the street.

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  E7Homeless

  Dec 17, 1981· 30m

  The 12th is overrun with homeless vagrants on Christmas; a greeting-card writer snaps; a cattle prod is the weapon of choice for a local merchant.

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  E8The Tontine

  Jan 7, 1982

  The penultimate survivor of a tontine attempts suicide in order to concede the money to his cousin.

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  E9Examination Day

  Jan 14, 1982

  The detectives don uniforms while Levitt and the others take sergeant's exams; Luger, working with the squad, is overly rough with a collar, and later with Barney.

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  E10The Clown

  Jan 21, 1982· 30m

  Street clowns fall prey to a serial mugger; a hundred inmates are sneaked out of holding in the middle of the night.

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  E11Chinatown (1)

  Feb 4, 1982

  A murder witness is uncooperative, so he, Harris and Dietrich are forced to share an apartment in seclusion until he talks; Lieutenant Scanlon falls for a wealthy mugging victim.

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  E12Chinatown (2)

  Feb 11, 1982

  Unless he confesses soon, Harris and Dietrich's unwilling roommate may witness another murder. Meanwhile, harassment charges are pressed against Lieutenant Scanlon.

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  E13Hunger Strike

  Feb 18, 1982

  Dietrich aids an elderly psychiatric patient who may be speaking a foreign language; a nuclear activist goes on a hunger strike to end nuclear arms; Barney declines a deputy inspector nomination.

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  E14Arrival

  Feb 25, 1982

  Luger's mail-order bride arrives; an elderly woman mugs a man.

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  E15Obituary

  Mar 11, 1982· 30m

  A newspaper obituary causes a stir when the subject turns up alive; the detectives snag a modern-day chicken thief.

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  E16Inquiry

  Mar 26, 1982· 30m

  Internal Affairs is called in when a charge of excessive force is leveled against Wojo; an angry parent takes action when his child is declined admission into an exclusive kindergarten.

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  E17Old Love

  Apr 2, 1982· 30m

  Dietrich's old flame pays a visit; a former child actor clubs an agent with a telephone.

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  E18Altercation

  Apr 9, 1982· 30m

  Harris and Arnold come to blows; a mugging victim confesses to a twenty-five year old crush on Barney.

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  E19Bones

  Apr 29, 1982· 30m

  A museum presses charges when an Indian retrieves his tribe's ancestral bones from an exhibit; a scoutmaster catches a mugger.

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  E20Landmark (1)

  May 6, 1982

  Wojo's discover of an ancient weapon puts the 12th Precinct up for sale.

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  E21Landmark (2)

  May 13, 1982

  The 12th Precinct is sold; Dietrich arrests the head of a crime school; Luger tries to duck out on his mail-order bride.

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  E22Landmark (3)Finale

  May 20, 1982

  Friends, foes and felons alike drop by to pay their last respects as the detectives prepare to leave for new assignments; Harris contemplates his resignation when he's assigned to Flushing Meadows; Barney recalls friends departed before he turns out the squad room lights for the last time.

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  E1Homicide (1)

  Oct 30, 1980· 30m

  When the NYPD restructures its precincts as specialty squads, Luger pulls some strings and gets the 12th assigned as a homicide squad. Business is good; a man murders his barber, and a woman hires a hit man to kill her husband, and then changes her mind.

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  E2Homicide (2)

  Nov 6, 1980

  Harris woos the precinct's crime photographer, while Dietrich tracks down the hit man's intended target; Barney's frustration boils over when the new homicide-only edict results in the death of an old friend.

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  E3The Delegate

  Nov 13, 1980

  A drunk and disorderly turns out to be a delegate from the 1976 Democratic convention; Barney discovers a problem with the newly assigned Officer Nash - he's not a cop.

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  E4Dorsey

  Nov 27, 1980

  The new detective is convinced that his compatriots are on the take and asks to be dealt out.

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  E5Agent Orange

  Dec 11, 1980

  Another domestic dispute at the Brauer household occurs when their apartment building becomes ""clothing optional""; Wojo takes a personal interest in the plight of a fellow vet whose crime spree may be a result of the Agent Orange chemical.

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  E6Call Girl

  Dec 18, 1980

  Dorsey takes a protective stance to a young prostitute; Harris is getting stock tips from another one; and Dietrich is tempted by all of them as he experiments with celibacy.

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  E7Resignation

  Jan 8, 1981

  Dietrich, stricken with guilt when he shoots a felon, tenders his resignation; a playwright assaults an incompetent actor.

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  E8Field Associate

  Jan 15, 1981

  Someone is sending specific information on transgressions of the men to Internal Affairs; Harris sets up a reunion between an elderly cat burglar and the wife who reported him missing years ago.

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  E9Movie (1)

  Jan 22, 1981

  Harris is assigned to direct a pornographic movie; an old-time radio newsman assaults a vacuous television anchor.

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  E10Movie (2)

  Jan 29, 1981

  A blind mugging victim and an overzealous charity collector are among the disparate audience members at the screening of Harris' overbudget film.

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  E11The Psychic

  Feb 5, 1981

  An accused mugger claims that he was answering a psychic vision; a language professor takes vandalistic umbrage to a grammatically incorrect billboard.

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  E12Stormy Weather

  Feb 12, 1981· 30m

  A deaf woman is arrested for prostitution; Barney anxiously awaits news of Wojo, who dived into the Hudson River in pursuit of a looter.

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  E13The Librarian

  Feb 19, 1981· 30m

  A serious tone pervades this episode about a gypsy and his harassment of the owner of a novelty store; on the lighter side, a librarian takes extreme measures to ensure quiet amongst the stacks.

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  E14Rachel

  Feb 26, 1981· 30m

  Ripner is suing Harris over the lawyer's portrayal in the detective's novel; Wojo asks Barney's daughter out on a date; a sporting-goods storeowner takes the law in his own hands.

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  E15Contempt (1)

  Mar 12, 1981

  A restaurant may have refused a man service because of his appearance; Barney won't name an informant so he's charged with contempt of court.

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  E16Contempt (2)

  Mar 19, 1981

  When Barney spends the night in jail, the squad room is left in the natty hands of Sergeant Harris.

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  E17The Doll

  Mar 26, 1981· 30m

  An expensive doll is abducted for ransom; a man claims he was swindled in exchange for a ticket on the space shuttle; Luger informs Barney that he's in his will.

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  E18Lady and the Bomb

  Apr 9, 1981· 30m

  The verdict is in on the Harris/Ripner libel suit, and a woman threatens to blow up the squad room with a homemade bomb. What better time for Detective Fish to drop by for a visit?

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  E19Riot

  Apr 30, 1981· 30m

  Luger takes a small disturbance with the Hassidic community and turns it into a full-scale riot; the squad discovers a survivalist couple setting up housekeeping in the sewers.

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  E20The Vests

  May 7, 1981· 30m

  The detectives are reluctant to wear their new bulletproof vests; Luger interviews them in case of the need for a quick obituary.

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  E21The Rainmaker

  May 14, 1981· 30m

  The officers arrest a rainmaker, only discover that he was hired by the drought-ridden city; Wojo, Harris and Dietrich each consider a job opening in vice.

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  E22LiquidationFinale

  May 21, 1981· 30m

  Harris is forced to liquidate his possessions to pay off his lawsuit.

• 
  E1Inquisition

  Sep 13, 1979

  When an anonymous letter identifies a member of the 12th Precinct as a homosexual, it buys the boys a visit from Lieutenant Scanlon, who proceeds to make a witch hunt out of his search for the author. Meanwhile, a disgruntled shopper takes a fire axe to an elevator's MUZAK machine.

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  E2The Photographer

  Sep 20, 1979

  A tranquil prisoner claims to be Jesus Christ, which is timely for the drug dealer caught with an impressive stash; an elderly mugger poses as a photographer to ensnare lonely women.

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  E3Vacation

  Sep 27, 1979

  A string of false alarms suggests that a sniper may be after a cop, but the detectives are preoccupied with Barney's posted vacation schedules and the case of a man who won't donate a kidney to his ailing brother.

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  E4The Brother

  Oct 4, 1979

  A visiting monk opts for a quick dalliance with a lady of the streets; Barney discovers to his horror that Dietrich may not be cut out for mugging detail—especially since it must be done in drag.

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  E5The Slave

  Oct 18, 1979

  Harris bristles when he learns that the Burmese chauffeur being booked for a traffic accident is actually an indentured servant.

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  E6Strip Joint

  Nov 1, 1979

  A bookstore owner is infuriated when a strip club opens near his place of business; and man is convinced that he is on the verge of spontaneous combustion.

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  E7The Bird

  Nov 8, 1979

  Harris' book publication hits a snag when Dietrich refuses to sign a release; a suicide hot line operator becomes suicidal; the clerk that sold Wojo a sick bird changes his strict no-return policy when he learns that the detective is a cop.

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  E8The Desk

  Nov 22, 1979

  A former master criminal becomes a walking zombie following his lobotomy; a man is unable to use the telephone after being mugged because he's Amish. Jeff Corey, who appeared previously as ""The Prisoner,"" was a renowned acting teacher.

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  E9The Judge

  Dec 6, 1979

  A judge provides an attorney with the ultimate over-ruling—a gavel on the noggin; the crimes reported by a lonely woman emanate from daytime television soap operas.

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  E10The DNA Story

  Dec 13, 1979

  The detectives search for a missing viral strain stolen from a lab; a woman is convinced that her husband is actually a clone.

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  E11The Dentist

  Dec 27, 1979

  One man's hands are a musical instrument to himself and a nuisance to others; a detective goes undercover to trap a dentist with wandering instruments.

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  E12People's Court

  Jan 3, 1980

  Weary of an uncooperative populace, a census taker goes to drastic measures to make a head count; beleaguered apartment dwellers band together and capture a burglar.

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  E13Vanished (1)

  Jan 10, 1980

  Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is focusing in on Dietrich and Wojo.

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  E14Vanished (2)

  Jan 17, 1980

  Harris disappears while undercover as a vagrant; Luger elects to be demoted rather than to retire.

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  E15The Child Stealers

  Jan 24, 1980

  A self-proclaimed time traveler tells Harris to fine tune his stock portfolio; Marty's divrorced gentleman friend Mr. Driscoll attempts to reclaim his son by abducting him from the playground.

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  E16Guns

  Jan 31, 1980

  Wojo fears that a despondent Luger is planning to do himself in; a man seeking to reclaim his television set robs the police vault; a rash of bizarre robberies leads to an eccentric gun collector.

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  E17Uniform Days

  Feb 7, 1980

  The cops observe the annual department-mandated ritual of wearing their uniforms - except for Harris who shows up in his usual natty street clothes.

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  E18Dietrich's Arrest (1)

  Feb 28, 1980

  A lottery winner dispenses of the prize money by tossing it out a window; Sgt. Dietrich is arrested for his off-duty participation at an anti-nuclear rally; Barney discovers he can't afford his condo-converted apartment.

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  E19Dietrich's Arrest (2)

  Mar 6, 1980

  Harris gets the unenviable task of booking his colleague Dietrich, whose arrest prompts a visit from Internal Affairs; meanwhile, a nuclear engineer is brought in for dousing the participants with atomic water.

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  E20The Architect

  Mar 27, 1980

  A disgruntled architect decides to improve on his building—by blowing it up.

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  E21The Inventor

  May 1, 1980

  The squad tries hypnosis to uncover the name of a felon that Wojo has forgotten; an inventor steals the plans for his own creation.

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  E22FogFinale

  May 8, 1980

  Barney is down in the dumps when he is passed over again for deputy inspector

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The second season of Barney Miller aired on ABC from September 11, 1975 to March 18, 1976.

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The first season of Barney Miller aired on ABC from January 23 to May 1, 1975.

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